Marking the Anniversary of a loved one’s death
In recovery, it is important we learn how to grieve and to accept strong emotions without feeling overwhelmed. One of the risks of loss is not taking into account how this loss will be grieved into the future. Today, let’s look at some of the ways we can respond to the anniversary of a loved one’s death, or other important loss.
Anniversaries can be a time for quiet and simple contemplation, or for family gatherings, fellowship and remembrance.
Whether you feel it is significant to mark your loved one’s life on the anniversary of their death, or an occasion such as their birthday, the way you choose to acknowledge the death of a loved one can change with every passing year.
Here are 10 suggestions for tributes individuals might make on the anniversary of a loved one’s death.
1. Visit their final resting place
Taking time to remember at your loved one’s grave may already be an important part of your routine, but can be especially poignant around the time of their death anniversary.
If you scattered their ashes in a place that was special to them, a trip there could be part of a day spent with other people who loved them and include a picnic with their favourite food and drink.
2. Write a letter, poem or blog
Although our love is constant, our thoughts, feelings, regrets and memories can change as every death anniversary passes. Writing can be a therapeutic way of processing complicated thoughts and feelings, as well as expressing heartfelt sentiments.
‘Post’ your letter or poem in a hidden outdoors spot, or online on a grief blog, or community forum. On the other hand, keep it somewhere safe and make a personal ritual of writing and re-reading letters and poems every anniversary.
3. Play their favourite song
Music is incredibly evocative and certain tunes can make us catch our breath or transport our memories back to special moments in time.
Listen to their song on the day you mark the anniversary of their death. This could be by special request on a radio show, or as part of a playlist in a get-together with friends.
4. Hold a special remembrance ceremony
If faith brings you comfort , your church, cleric or a celebrant may be happy to arrange for a ceremony to mark the death anniversary, or to include prayers for them in the week’s service.
Formal secular occasions to mark the anniversary of their death could include a remembrance evening with speakers and readings, or even a tree-planting ceremony.
5. Take time out
The anniversary of a loved one’s death can be a time to get away from it all. Some people prefer to have time away from places that hold memories on a death anniversary. For others, a place where special moments were spent with their loved one is a poignant way of keeping them close.
6. Express sentiments with flowers
Be inspired by the language of flowers to make a beautiful bouquet to lay by your loved one’s resting place, or to send to a hospice in their memory on the anniversary of their death.
7. Take a seat
Some people dedicate inscribed benches in favourite beauty spots, while arts venues also offer ways where you can sponsor a seat in their theater in memory of someone.
If the person you are remembering loved drama, dance, music or comedy, a theater seat with their name on it could be just the ticket. Taking in a ballet or opera could also be a beautiful way to mark your loved one’s life, around the anniversary of their death.
8. Look through old photos
Dig out the family albums and look through them, while you play their favourite music.
If you feel like company, you could cook a favourite meal on the anniversary of your loved one’s death and invite family members around to share. While everyone’s around the table, invite them to take turns dipping into a shoe box of old snaps and listen to the memories they bring back.
9. Shine a light
There is a long tradition of lighting a candle in memory of someone, whether in a place of worship, or at home as you quietly contemplate.
On the anniversary of their death, you could choose a scented candle with a fragrance that brings memories back.
10. Create an online memorial
Memories can grow more precious as the years go by and they are also a wonderful legacy to hand down to children and grandchildren.
A memorial app can be a great way to keep memories alive and revisit when you are thinking about someone you love on their death anniversary. You can keep it private, or invite friends and family members to share photos, memories and loving sentiments.
- Grave by Emily Haasch from the Noun Project
- Online by priyanka from the Noun Project
- Park Bench by Made by Made from the Noun Project
- Candle by Norbert Kucsera from the Noun Project
- Write by Blair Adams from the Noun Project
- Votive Candle by Dara Ullrich from the Noun Project
- Photo Album by Chris Homan from the Noun Project
- Rest by gzz from the Noun Project
Inspired by https://www.funeralzone.com.au/blog/death-anniversary-ideas
